Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Fight AIDS using your home PC
Go to battle against AIDS with your computer!
"What is FightAIDS@Home?"
FightAIDS@Home is the first biomedical distributed computing project ever launched. It is run by the Olson Laboratory at The Scripps Research Institute, and uses your computer to assist fundamental research to discover new drugs, using our growing knowledge of the structural biology of AIDS.
I'm not a medical doctor, not a med student, a nurse or a health care worker. I am someone who lost someone to AIDS. My Grandfather Benny, whom I adored and miss every single moment of every day. He contracted HIV during several transfusions of blood following surgery for an aortic anyurism in 1981. This blog is about his journey. While he has died, for me this project will give him a peice of immortality.
I have a team "Episcopalians for a Cure" which you are welcome to join. There are many, many other teams as well, so find one that suits you and put your computer to good use. Who knows what miracles we can help make!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Thanksgiving is coming next week
(Reminder - this is in 1988) Things have taken a bit of a down turn. Bamps' thrush has returned with a vengeance, he's so out of breath that he's stopped sitting on the patio. He's having problems with bowel control, so we now have a bedside commode. He's terrible self conscious about that. Once he gets on the commode, he has me go outside until he's done, and then he turns beet red when I go to empty it. Hank has begun helping Bamps with his showers because he is very unsteady and has developed parkinsonian like tremors.
It's hard on all of us right now. One afternoon I just broke down crying hysterically. It was so hard to see someone who has been the rock of my life go through this. I was incredibly angry at God now. My grandfather was a truly good person. Sure he had faults, but I've never known anyone as loving, honest and the embodiment of the best things about being human as Bamps. I remember yelling at God that it wasn't fair that he had to suffer through this. I know it's not God's fault. I'm just glad he/she lets me rant once in awhile.
We are planning Thanksgiving dinner. So far it's grilled turkey breast with celery gravy, mashed potatoes, candied yams, peas, green beans, pumpkin pie and Juanita's brownies.
Juanita or Ellie (a new girl and definitely not a sourpuss!) come and visit every day. Our home is on the way to Ellie's home, so even if she's not Bamp's caretaker that day, she stops by and visits. Juanita always comes by on Sundays after church, even though it's not her day. Chrissie (across the street) comes by daily as well, and had one of her friends mow our lawn and do some spiffying up. Chrissie has realized what is wrong with Bamps. She sees a lot of HIV/AIDS in her profession (the world's oldest - and she has the proverbial heart of gold). She doesn't think it's fair either, but my grandmother used to say that "life isn't fair, you just have to play the cards you're dealt". Lately we've been drinking her strawberry coladas, which is a great way for Bamps to relax and get his fruits at the same time. She'll hang out with him while I do the grocery shopping and have coffee somewhere. It's a welcome break because I can go away and cry somewhere. Usually down to the Pompano Beach pier. Or Jaycee Park.
Bamps t-cell counts are bad, the TB is active, he's losing more weight. And now he has the Parkinson's-like thing. There is one good thing. All his life he has been nearsighted. A few years ago he developed glaucoma. Off all things, the glaucoma has reshaped his eyes, and he no longer needs his reading glasses. His opthamologist says he's seen it before. It's been nice for Bamps, who's gone back to reading some of his favorites: Ian Flemming, John D. McDonald, and whatever we bring him from the mystery section of the library. He's also reading the paper cover to cover again, and taken an interest in the harness races.
Unfortunately, he has a feeling "his time is coming" as he puts it. His friend Bob is coming from Tampa for a visit next week. They've been friends since their late teens and have a habit of getting into trouble at least once a year. I never knew what type of trouble, but my grandmother said she never wanted to know what trouble they were in anyway and as long as she didn't have to post bail money she was fine with it. Two years ago they went to New Orleans. Or they said they did...
It's hard on all of us right now. One afternoon I just broke down crying hysterically. It was so hard to see someone who has been the rock of my life go through this. I was incredibly angry at God now. My grandfather was a truly good person. Sure he had faults, but I've never known anyone as loving, honest and the embodiment of the best things about being human as Bamps. I remember yelling at God that it wasn't fair that he had to suffer through this. I know it's not God's fault. I'm just glad he/she lets me rant once in awhile.
We are planning Thanksgiving dinner. So far it's grilled turkey breast with celery gravy, mashed potatoes, candied yams, peas, green beans, pumpkin pie and Juanita's brownies.
Juanita or Ellie (a new girl and definitely not a sourpuss!) come and visit every day. Our home is on the way to Ellie's home, so even if she's not Bamp's caretaker that day, she stops by and visits. Juanita always comes by on Sundays after church, even though it's not her day. Chrissie (across the street) comes by daily as well, and had one of her friends mow our lawn and do some spiffying up. Chrissie has realized what is wrong with Bamps. She sees a lot of HIV/AIDS in her profession (the world's oldest - and she has the proverbial heart of gold). She doesn't think it's fair either, but my grandmother used to say that "life isn't fair, you just have to play the cards you're dealt". Lately we've been drinking her strawberry coladas, which is a great way for Bamps to relax and get his fruits at the same time. She'll hang out with him while I do the grocery shopping and have coffee somewhere. It's a welcome break because I can go away and cry somewhere. Usually down to the Pompano Beach pier. Or Jaycee Park.
Bamps t-cell counts are bad, the TB is active, he's losing more weight. And now he has the Parkinson's-like thing. There is one good thing. All his life he has been nearsighted. A few years ago he developed glaucoma. Off all things, the glaucoma has reshaped his eyes, and he no longer needs his reading glasses. His opthamologist says he's seen it before. It's been nice for Bamps, who's gone back to reading some of his favorites: Ian Flemming, John D. McDonald, and whatever we bring him from the mystery section of the library. He's also reading the paper cover to cover again, and taken an interest in the harness races.
Unfortunately, he has a feeling "his time is coming" as he puts it. His friend Bob is coming from Tampa for a visit next week. They've been friends since their late teens and have a habit of getting into trouble at least once a year. I never knew what type of trouble, but my grandmother said she never wanted to know what trouble they were in anyway and as long as she didn't have to post bail money she was fine with it. Two years ago they went to New Orleans. Or they said they did...
